When Leaders Struggle

Leaders are always supposed to be strong right? They are the ones who are up in front, leading the pack. Or behind the scenes, pushing us ahead. They are the ones who know best, who are the smartest, the best educated, who have the responsibility to ensure the well-being of those who follow. Leaders are the ones who focus the rest of us on what really matters, who think beyond the everyday to what’s most important. We sometimes think of them as super human. Is it any wonder that they fall? That they fail to live up to our expectations? That so many in recent years have crashed to the ground or into jail?

Leadership, once claimed or owned, is a tremendous responsibility. And these common perceptions and the pressure to maintain them may be so great, that if we ourselves become leaders, we may feel pressured to keep others from finding out our faults and our weaknesses. We may not want anyone to see that we really are no different from anyone else. After all, the least mistake, if it becomes public knowledge, can send us sprawling from our pedestal.

So what happens when leaders struggle? When the company is losing money? What happens when the customers just don’t seem to be there? When a child dies or a wife leaves? What happens when tragedies hit her family or his company? What happens when the building burns down, or the equipment kills an employee? What happens when he or she leads the people into battle, and they fail to succeed, and so there are many casualties?

The phrase, “It’s lonely at the top” comes to mind. The phrase, “We are all human” comes to mind. The question, “Who’s going to be the strong one now, the one to make the decisions while I struggle?” comes to mind. Company presidents, ministers, single parents, school principals – all must ask these questions some times. Maybe that’s why some people just don’t want to take on leadership responsibilities.

But what if we decided differently about leaders? What if we really believed that all of us are supposed to be leaders of someone or something? That we each have a “calling” to fulfill, and that fulfilling that “calling” is so important to someone or some group that it makes us a leader when we are living out that capacity. Dennis Bakke, co-founder and CEO of Imagine Schools and founder and former CEO of AES Corporation, believed this perspective to be so important that he considered Joy at Work (the title of his book) to be possible only when people were in charge of something, when they were decision makers. He built a company around expecting everyone to be in charge of decisions – rather than considering himself to be the main decision maker. The Bible talks about “spiritual gifts,” those that God has called us to live out. When we fully live out these gifts, we are serving a special and important role in the church, a role that no one else can fill. We are “leading” when we are fulfilling that role. But that gift or those roles are God given, God empowered. And because all in the church are “called” to some role, all gifts are equally important if the church is to function as God intends.

Whether everyone shares this spiritual perspective or not, or whether we believe that churches are succeeding at this biblical mandate, might it not be a useful metaphor for companies and other organizations? That is, the person who looks most important, who has the most visible responsibilities, who speaks the most, or who is most intelligent would not be considered more important than the one who keeps the computers running, or the one who ensures that the sick receive their benefits. The whole organization would be made up of “essential functions” or roles that would be filled by people who were most gifted or suited to those roles. And “suited” would mean more than whether we were educated for the role or had held a similar role before. It would mean that we experienced a heart, soul, and mind “calling” toward that role. It would mean that we felt most fulfilled when carrying out that role.

Because everyone’s role would be essential to the functioning of the whole, we would be paying attention to people’s gifts and encouraging them to discover their talents. We would be helping them to develop those talents, and holding their hands when they were discouraged. We would invest heavily in the people around us; in developing their strengths; in asking for their input and support. We would have no justification for considering anyone more important than anyone else, because for the whole organization to operate best, everyone would have to be operating at their best. Or given that we would accept that no one is infallible, we would create systems for filling in and helping out those who were temporarily “dys” functional.

And best of all for the person with the formal title of leader, someone’s role would be “caring for,” supporting, restoring, and “being there” for the more visible leader, rather than the leader having to keep up appearances, trying to look strong when she wasn’t feeling it. The person in the role at the top wouldn’t have to fake it, but would have a coach to continually support him, challenge him to grow and become; someone to lean on when needed. What if, instead of leaders considering themselves better than others, or as having more rights, or as smarter, or more capable, or more responsible, or [feel free to fill in the blank], they instead saw themselves as servants. I remember a book called “Servant Leadership” – I think this was exactly its point.

A Tribute to Hal

My friend Hal is the kind of leader I would like to be – or at least he has character traits that I aim to learn from. He is kind, sensitive, funny, and makes connections with people and with leadership principles by using magic tricks and experiential activities. We compared Myers Briggs types, and he is the exact opposite of me – my ENTJ to his INFP, for those who are familiar with the “types.” That’s why I asked him to team up with me in facilitating some leadership training recently. Creativity experts talk about the need for difference in group members, in environments, in senses accessed, and so on, if people are to generate creative and innovative solutions to problems. And I knew that those I was training would benefit from our differences.

And yet, there are many things that join us together, regardless of our differences and the benefits of “gifts differing.” And when Hal was recently felled by a major health tragedy, it was hard not to feel his and his family’s pain deep in the center of who I am. After all, we are both in business for ourselves. We are both trainers. We are both about the same age. We are both vulnerable to the vagaries of health, the economic climate, and many other things beyond our control. We are both humans who inhabit the same community. It escapes me how people can find their way out of such holes of vulnerability without appealing to something higher than themselves, however they define it. I certainly have, this week, called out for that Higher Power. Called out for a strength greater than my own.

And I know that the families of those shot in Aurora and Wisconsin are doing the same at this moment. As are Hal and his family. In fact, the maxim “Behind every good man is a good woman” comes to mind as I consider Hal and his wife’s current journey. The notion that “no one is an island” and that we all need one another takes central stage as I consider the shootings. And it brings me to the thought that we all need to be focused on what is really important in life, reaching for the best of what we have to offer, because we never know when our greatest strength or kindness will be needed. In fact, one wonders if there is ever a time that it is not needed. If we are not noticing the need, perhaps we are not opening our eyes!

And yesterday, I watched great strength and kindness in Hal’s wife. A gentle, tender, wise, hopeful woman whom most of us could do well to emulate. A woman tuned in to her husband’s needs of the moment. A woman reaching out to her husband’s community to inform them, trusting them to care and to do the right thing. A woman ready to do whatever is necessary. A woman who has created a loving family that is also gathering around Hal. A woman of faith – who will need great support in this time of tremendous challenge.

And I think, “Can any of us really afford not to aim toward being like this woman?” If we look around at our world, can we really accept that love and hope and encouragement and other character traits are not essential and needed in every moment of every day? Shouldn’t we take a little time each day to figure out how we can aspire to the higher? To our better selves? To what’s optimal – instead of the minimum necessary? I know that tragedies make me rethink these things. What about you? What will you do with the pain and tragedy around you? Will you join me in investing energy in love and joy and faith and kindness and . . . . ? Well, you get my point!

Spirit-Care for Leaders

• Do you ever feel as though you have lost your zip?
• Do you wonder where you will get the energy to do what needs to be done tomorrow?
• Do you wonder how you can inspire your people when you feel so uninspired yourself?
• Might you be thinking about a LONG vacation, from which you never return?

There is a good deal of talk in the mental health world about the need for self-care – for relaxation, for supportive friends to talk difficulties over with, for addressing emotional issues that may be hanging on from childhood. We also see articles or hear from experts who tout the wonders of regular exercise and healthy meals and various supplements or herbs. And everyone speaks of the need for downtime, for relationship time, for balanced living.

And yet, sometimes high-powered people think they are immune. They work smarter, think more quickly, organize efficiently, have money to pay others do the routine, dull parts of life. And then they aren’t. And then the illness hits. Or their spouse leaves. Or their kid gets arrested. And then they lose their zip. And then they wonder what life is about.

I think many forget to seek out the “spirit” in life. Now don’t get wiggy – I am not going to “god” talk you, or tell you to go back to church or listen to your mother. I’m not going to suggest that you get “saved” or to read your Bible more. Unless, perhaps, you already know that you need to do these things.

But, I do think that leaders with considerable power can confuse themselves with God – sitting up on a pedestal and expecting things of themselves that no human being should expect. I do think that leaders can forget the balance of power,  that the world operates better when people shoulder responsibilities together, when everyone takes on their share, and follows their particular “calling.” I do think that leaders can forget their calling, their joy, that which gives meaning to their lives. And they do so at their own peril!

So, what about you? What would it take to reclaim a place among us mere mortals? What would it take to expect a reasonable amount of yourself? What would it take to stop playing God, or to reclaim a place that is somewhere between incompetent and your God aspirations? What would the people in your life have to do to persuade you to share a little vulnerability, to connect with the little people, to receive life and love and “spiritual food” from other people? What would it take to receive from Something or Someone “higher” than yourself?

Perhaps no one else can answer that question for you. But many of us have answered it for ourselves. And we have learned that we and the people around us do much better when we reclaim a place in the universe that is made for us, rather than aspiring out of pride to something that we can never reach: godhood!

The Leader’s Character and Impact: Inextricably Tied Together

• Are you having the impact you want to have as a leader?
• Is your team operating at top productivity?
• Are you clear on how to lead others?
• Do you have a clear idea about what you are leading toward?

If you answered yes to these questions, then perhaps you can skip to another article. But if you are not sure, or if you need a refresher, or if you envy the results of other leaders, then read on!

I personally have held many leadership positions. And I am pretty sure I have done a poor job at times. In fact, I think that most times I was only a leader by virtue of being willing to take on responsibility when others were not. Now that I regularly conduct leadership training, I am shocked at how many people rise to leadership positions because of longevity in their professional positions and how few educational or professional training programs teach people what to do when they do rise become leaders. 

What is also somewhat of a shock is that most of the life skills, the soft skills, that mental health professionals teach, when they reach beyond remediating mental illness, are actually what leaders need to know. Consider this list of leadership training topics:

• Creative Problem Solving
• Creativity and Innovation
• Communication Skills
• Conflict Resolution Skills
• How to Build a Team
• Influencing Skills
• Building Resilience
• Change Management
• Taking Care of Ourselves During Change

While I am sure that there are many other abilities that leaders need, what is really impressive is the apparent need for leaders to learn more than their “content expertise” in order to lead or manage people well. What also impresses me is that each item on the list includes the need for good character. However great I am at computers (or nursing, or finance or laying tile or building widgits), if I want to lead my people, they need to know that

• they can trust me
• I have their best interests at heart
• I have their backs
• I will regularly talk with them – about their work/needs and about what’s going on in the company
• I will not sell them out
• I will work just as hard as they will and will do my best
• I will tell the truth
• I will expect them to do their best at what they are best at
• I will consult them in areas of their expertise, and not exclude them
• I will know enough about their personal and work needs to support them.

In other words, if I am not having the desired impact as a leader, perhaps I need to ask myself if, in addition to the skills of my profession, I am exercising the following character traits:

• Trustworthiness
• Integrity
• Perseverance
• Appreciation
• Kindness
• Determination
• Trust
• Self-Control
• Transparency
• Openmindedness
• Kindness
• Responsibility
• Authenticity
• Respect
• Fairness
• Humility
• Generosity
• Gratitude

“Called” to Lead

Leaders lead best when they understand “calling” and “vision,” and when they find ways to align the two for themselves and for those who work for them. Leaders need to:

• Discover their “Calling” – know themselves, who they are, what most interests them and what they are best at. Sometimes we refer to this as their “calling” – where their greatest joy or desire meets a great need in the world or in their company or organization.
• Align their “Calling” with the Company Vision – Imagine how much more energy leaders would find for their work if they could discover ways for their personal “calling” to align with the company’s vision and values!
• “Call” their Reports – know what most interests those who work for them, where their greatest gifts and passions lie, OR
• Support their Reports’ Discovery of “Call” – invest time in helping their reports to discover their “sweet spot” or “calling.”
• Align their Reports’ “Calling” with the Company Vision – The same is true for employees as for leaders – that is, imagine the increased motivation for working for the company and reaching company goals if the employee’s sense of personal “Call” aligns with the company’s vision and their work responsibilities.
• Reflect Frequently – People are less stressed and more motivated when they are living their lives intentionally. But intentionality requires stepping back periodically and reflecting on vision, calling, and how best to align the two in one’s day-to-day workplace activities.
• Ensure Time for Small Group Reflection – Relaxed and intentional time also needs to be set aside for group reflection on vision, personal calling, and aligning the two for each person in the workgroup.

“Callings” or “sweet spots” engage the whole person: spirit, soul, intellect, emotion, and relationships. Creativity experts assure us that engaging the whole person is necessary for innovation, and that companies cannot survive in today’s business environment without making creativity part of the DNA of their organization (Tom Peters). Wouldn’t you like to work in an organization that called out and enabled your greatest and most heartfelt gifts? How about you take the first step in ensuring that those who work for you get that opportunity as well!

5 Ways to Become a “Spherical” Leader

Traditionally leaders have been perceived of as “above,” or “out in front” of their people. Spherical leaders, however, lead from out in front, from above, from behind, from underneath, and from beside, to fulfill various employee needs. Read below to discover which dimensions you might add in order to become an exceptional leader.

Out Front -- Holding Out the Vision

Leaders hold out the vision for the company or team or project in front of their teams, reminding us of where we are headed, inspiring us with the benefits of getting there, benefits that motivate us and keep us going during the more difficult times. Many of us forget about the importance of this part of leadership; and yet, the vision is what keeps us going or restarts our engines when we find ourselves dragging through the muck. Visionary leaders find unifying themes that inspire us, and remind team members frequently of the vision in order to inspire our best work.

Above -- Calling Upward

Leaders not only inspire us with the vision of where the team is headed, but offer us the reasons why we, in particular, should get on board with that vision. They focus us on our higher “Calling,” on the values that mean something to us, on the “spirit” that makes what we do something special and fulfilling, that makes life and work all worth it. Good leaders know us well enough to understand the values that inspire us personally, and they expect us to do what is optimal. They believe that each of us has special gifts or a “sweet spot” in our work, and they give us opportunities to actualize these fully.

Behind -- Pushing Forward

Leaders also ensure that the job gets done, checking in regularly, ensuring that we stay on task, stick to the schedule, take the require steps, and meet or exceed expectations. There may be a certain element of task-master in this role. And some employees may need more of a task master. But, as important as this role is at times, it can never take over completely. Seeing oneself as solely a task master neglects the important visionary and “calling” roles of a true leader, which should always come first in any endeavor.

Underneath -- Holding Up

No matter how inspiring a leader, or how much checking on tasks and schedules, no team will succeed without adequate resources. So leaders stay aware of the tasks at hand as well as the resources necessary for success – whether time, money, supplies, knowledge, workers with particular expertise, or energy. And when necessary, leaders advocate to ensure that resources are available to their team in a timely way.

Beside -- Comrades

No matter how important the job, how “called” the employees might feel about completing the job, many initiatives are difficult to accomplish or encounter difficulties. In such cases, leaders walk beside their people, sharing the pain, joining them in the trenches, offering resources, support, and time until the “pain” is past. They serve as an example to emulate.