A Message from Harry Potter

So, my daughter is reading the Harry Potter series AGAIN! Not sure how many times this makes it. But she has been pretty regularly re-reading them for the last 6 years, and can now recite key passages. Should I worry? And, of course, she wants me to read them – again.

As I have reluctantly begun to comply with her wishes, I am struck by two things that are relevant to this column, to surviving in this world, and to leadership. First, people who have been mistreated have a very difficult time feeling good about themselves, even in the face of a great deal of evidence that counters the messages of those who have mistreated them. Harry Potter is supposed to save the world. He has all of these powers. And yet, he lives in fear that it will all be taken away from him, that the bad guys will win, and that the Dursley’s (the aunt and uncle who mistreated him for years after his parents were killed) will be right after all: that he is nothing. Does this sound familiar? Do you identify with these feelings? Do you know people who can identify with his fears?

Second, often people find relief from the results of mistreatment, or just from the difficulties of the world, from a spiritual source. For some, that means a personal relationship with God. For others, it means investing in the “higher” things of life, however they define these. For still others it means finding some meaning or “calling” in life, something that serves an important purpose in the world, and that brings them great personal joy. When they become clear about their spiritual meanings or callings, people can say to the Dursleys and the Slytherins of the world, “I am somebody! I have been created to do something worthwhile! I love what I am doing! And you can never take that away from me!” And so, up from the ashes of their former existence rises a new life of joy and fulfillment. And, even when the world (or the Dursley’s or the Slytherins) try to take it away, they can call on their inner or spiritual resources to fight back and say, “NO!”

Third, wouldn’t it be great if leaders keep these things in mind, for themselves and for those they lead? Wouldn’t it be great if they healed their own hurts by calling on some deeper meanings or sources of spiritual solace (rather than taking their hurts out on those who have less power)? Wouldn’t it be great if they believed that each of their people had a special purpose or “calling” in the world, and made the effort to match that purpose or calling with organizational needs, so the organization could benefit from the best that their people had to offer?

Eventually, Harry Potter finds his personal (and magical) strength, and he regularly saves his friends. He is, after all, the only one who can defeat “he who shall not be named." Just so, each of us are the only ones who can fill (fulfill?) our own special place in the universe with meaning and purpose. And if we are leaders, shouldn’t that mean helping our people to do the same?

A Tribute to Hal

My friend Hal is the kind of leader I would like to be – or at least he has character traits that I aim to learn from. He is kind, sensitive, funny, and makes connections with people and with leadership principles by using magic tricks and experiential activities. We compared Myers Briggs types, and he is the exact opposite of me – my ENTJ to his INFP, for those who are familiar with the “types.” That’s why I asked him to team up with me in facilitating some leadership training recently. Creativity experts talk about the need for difference in group members, in environments, in senses accessed, and so on, if people are to generate creative and innovative solutions to problems. And I knew that those I was training would benefit from our differences.

And yet, there are many things that join us together, regardless of our differences and the benefits of “gifts differing.” And when Hal was recently felled by a major health tragedy, it was hard not to feel his and his family’s pain deep in the center of who I am. After all, we are both in business for ourselves. We are both trainers. We are both about the same age. We are both vulnerable to the vagaries of health, the economic climate, and many other things beyond our control. We are both humans who inhabit the same community. It escapes me how people can find their way out of such holes of vulnerability without appealing to something higher than themselves, however they define it. I certainly have, this week, called out for that Higher Power. Called out for a strength greater than my own.

And I know that the families of those shot in Aurora and Wisconsin are doing the same at this moment. As are Hal and his family. In fact, the maxim “Behind every good man is a good woman” comes to mind as I consider Hal and his wife’s current journey. The notion that “no one is an island” and that we all need one another takes central stage as I consider the shootings. And it brings me to the thought that we all need to be focused on what is really important in life, reaching for the best of what we have to offer, because we never know when our greatest strength or kindness will be needed. In fact, one wonders if there is ever a time that it is not needed. If we are not noticing the need, perhaps we are not opening our eyes!

And yesterday, I watched great strength and kindness in Hal’s wife. A gentle, tender, wise, hopeful woman whom most of us could do well to emulate. A woman tuned in to her husband’s needs of the moment. A woman reaching out to her husband’s community to inform them, trusting them to care and to do the right thing. A woman ready to do whatever is necessary. A woman who has created a loving family that is also gathering around Hal. A woman of faith – who will need great support in this time of tremendous challenge.

And I think, “Can any of us really afford not to aim toward being like this woman?” If we look around at our world, can we really accept that love and hope and encouragement and other character traits are not essential and needed in every moment of every day? Shouldn’t we take a little time each day to figure out how we can aspire to the higher? To our better selves? To what’s optimal – instead of the minimum necessary? I know that tragedies make me rethink these things. What about you? What will you do with the pain and tragedy around you? Will you join me in investing energy in love and joy and faith and kindness and . . . . ? Well, you get my point!