The Power of Film: For Good?

I was struck as I read the Denver Post’s article, “A Jewish case for Mel Gibson,” by the power of media – in this case film – to impact our moral center. We can read the Bible. We can read religiously-oriented books or other materials. We can study theology. But often, when we see what we have read portrayed on screen by skilled actors, we truly experience the power of the story. We feel history. We are there. We are one with the actors. We step out of our own skin and into the experiences of those on the screen.

And if we experience such traditions in multiple parts of our lives, they gain even more power. And that power affects our hearts, the ways we think about things, the choices we will then make, the ways in which we interact with other people. Should we be careful, as a result, about what we view or experience, or what we allow our children to view or experience, as many conservatives might advocate? Or should we (and our children) view a wide variety of things and have a wide variety of experiences so as to trigger our emotions and trigger our motivation to fully engage in deeper thought, deeper conversations, more serious consideration of how we live in this world.

As you think about the answers to these questions, consider my daughter’s experience. The Old Testament came alive for her as she read Exodus because she remembered the intensity of the exodus story in the Disney movie, Prince of Egypt. The “story” gained even more power when she was studying world cultures in her social studies class, and heard about the exodus again, and created maps about it because of its role in world history. I am sure we can all think of similar experiences we have had in which sometimes dry traditions or historical stories come to life when actors portray them in film or on stage. In fact, the need for information to touch all of our senses in order for us to really learn is the foundation of modern day education – just step into an elementary school classroom and watch the children study a culture. They read about it, draw pictures about it, create dramas about it, and develop and present projects on it. Research tell us that we all need more than words on a page to be truly impacted, to truly learn, to truly be motivated to change our lives.

And it seems that it is the power of media to affect us that brings up Jewish questions and comments about Mel Gibson producing a movie about the Jewish icon Judas Maccabaeus. “If this man has engaged in Jew bashing, can he really be trusted to produce such a movie,” ask Jewish people? “Will he tell the truth? Will he be biased?” “Will his movie touch movie goers in the ways we want them to be touched?” “Or will Jews once again be portrayed badly, in ways that have hurt them historically?”

Similarly, many of us questioned Mel’s portrayal of Christ in The Passion of Christ – not, perhaps, so much for dramatic reasons, but because of the misplaced ego of it all. “After all,” some asked, “Where does he get off playing our Savior?” But whether we are believers or not, whether we agreed with everything the movie portrayed or not, producing and acting in it took a great deal of chutzpah. And think about the discussions it triggered! The dialogue about faith and Christianity and truth! Think about the changes in the faith experiences of people who watched the movie because of the power of images on the screen! We might not consider just any “experience” justifiable. But isn’t this what art is about – the power to impact us? The power to get us to think? The power to get us up off our behinds and fully engaged in life and the types of discussions that make the world a better place?

So, in response to Jewish questions about whether Mel can be trusted with this project, I ask, what is it that you most care about? Do you want people to take Judaism seriously? Do you want them to know about it and ask questions about it and let it into their experience? I mean there are not that many Jewish people in the world compared with other religious groups. How will their voices be heard and respected? Whatever Mel’s faults, it is unlikely that he will produce a film that isn’t powerful and that doesn’t at least try to portray truth. Sometimes truth doesn’t feel good. Sometimes truths can’t fully be known – they have to be guessed or hypothesized. Sometimes our perspectives on truth change with the times and with different experiences we have.

But without our religious or spiritual or moral truths taking a more central place in our vision and conversations and passions, it is unlikely that we will listen, talk about them, and allow them to affect our world in positive ways. It is unlikely that we will become proactive in standing against what we all agree are evils. And we need a lot more energy in that direction, from my perspective!

What Will Your Bench Say?

I loved “Sorry, I’ve just got to vandalize this bench” in the Denver Post this week! The message is powerful, and one I try to communicate to my daughter regularly. The author, Kate Morrison, saw two benches on the corner of University and 1^st in Cherry Creek -- “This is what you use,” written on a large bench, and “This is what you need,” written on a small bench next to it. She found the metaphor relevant to many areas of life, and so wanted to vandalize the benches with the following possible parallel quotes:

When will we get the message? How much do we really need? Is it really making us happier? What are we giving up in order to get all this money? All this stuff? All these experiences?

We aren’t healthier! We just keep eating more, sitting in front of the TV more, and then, as a result, keeping the diet centers and doctors in business .

We aren’t happier! We just eat more, abuse ourselves more, and do more therapy!

We don’t do our relationships any better! We just do more divorce, more therapy (a theme here), see one another less, talk with one another less, and have less sense of community.

Clearly the values of “He who dies with the most toys wins” doesn’t get us anywhere worth getting. So, what are we going to do about it? What values do get us something worth having? What values and lifestyles make us happier? Help us to have relationships that work better and grow more? Help our children to grow up happy? What do we need to focus on to be more physically and emotionally healthy? What values will help to reduce crime and poverty and child abuse, and the other ills in our society?

If we don’t think about this, we won’t do anything differently. And if we don’t do anything differently, these societal problems will only increase. We can say, “That doesn’t apply to me.” Or “That doesn’t affect me.” But it really does! We are all connected to one another. We all do affect one another. If I take the first step, it can positively affect someone else. And then someone else. And then again, someone else. Watch the Pay It Forward video clip to see how one person can make a real difference. And then realize that the person who made the difference in that movie was a little kid. Can’t we adults do at least that much? I think so. Who’s with me??

http://payitforward.warnerbros.com/Pay_It_Forward/

Does God Care About the Debt?

It is hard to look at a newspaper or watch a television show or hear a radio show, or for that matter, have a conversation, these days without the subject of the national debt coming up. I read the paper. I listen to the radio, and I wonder, “Who’s right?” and “Is there any way to tell?” And “Where is God in all of this?”

Some of you may say, “Well, this doesn’t have anything to do with God. It’s about greed and dishonesty and just bad luck.” Others might have clear beliefs about whether we should have a smaller or larger government, or what it will take to resolve the debt crisis, or how we will get more people back to work and back in homes. And these arguments may be backed by arguments provided by the views presented by the Republican side of the house or the Democrats’ side of the house. But do we really know? Can we really know?

After all, those in Washington are advised by the best and the brightest on both sides of the financial and accounting and political fence. If they can’t figure it out, what chance do we common mortals have? It seems to me that in times like these, God does have something to say.

For instance, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” We all know someone who is out of a job or underemployed or struggling to pay their bills. How might we participate in community building, first getting to know our neighbors, saying hello, talking enough time to find out how they are doing, and reaching out to offer a helping hand when necessary? Of course, this requires that we carefully consider how, that we stop and look and listen, that we take the time, that we actually know our neighbors, and that we check in with them regularly and communicate openly and honestly. Perhaps we give up an hour of television each night to do it. But what could happen if Americans decided to take that commandment seriously on a moment by moment basis?

Or how about not “coveting” what our neighbors have? I realize that buying “stuff” is touted as the very measure of the health of the American economy. But isn’t the lack of ability to buy “stuff” what makes us feel poor or as though we aren’t measuring up to our neighbors? What if we stopped valuing more “stuff” so much? What if we invested our money in things that really mattered? Like quality health care? Like eating in ways that support our body’s health? Like buying things that last rather than those that become undesirable when the next fad comes along? What if we shared what we have? Do we really need a lawn mower for every house in the neighborhood? A whole neighborhood filled with private decks and barbeques? What if instead of coveting what our neighbors have, we built community by considering all that we have and our neighbors have to be community property?

Or what about “Working hard as unto the Lord?” In the old days, the class system meant that everyone who wasn’t rich worked as many hours as they could at whatever they could. Clearly the inequities were not a good thing, and abuses were rampant. But the fact that people did work that hard says to me that we can! So, what if we stepped it up – instead of working as little as we can to get by, what if we put in a little extra, worked a few extra hours, and ensured that our work really mattered rather than being “make work.” Imagine what 5 or 10% extra effort might mean to the products we create!

And perhaps, most importantly, “Trusting God in all things.” The reality is that no matter how hard we try, no matter what answers we come up with on our own, we will never have it all figured out. We are imperfect and incomplete. And certainly those we elect to public office are imperfect and incomplete. It is crazy to expect that they (and we) will ever be otherwise. We will never be able to do it all on our own. There will always be uncertainties and things we can’t control. And if ever there was a time that that was true, it is now, when so many live in uncertainty and fear. I don’t think there is any way to move beyond uncertainty and fear except by trusting God, however we might understand God. If there is no God, I think we are all in trouble. So, I wonder what would happen if we turned our eyes heavenward a little more frequently, “turned things over to God as we understand God,” as they say in Alcoholics Anonymous, a little more intentionally. Imagine the power of just that if more of us did it just a few minutes more each day. Will you join me?

Springing into New Birth and Freedom

So, what does your family do for Easter or Passover -- on these two faith holidays that are important enough to warrant releases from school and work because of the dominance of Christian and Jewish faiths in American culture? Christian people celebrate the death and resurrection of a Savior, the birth of a faith, and the promise of new life, both on earth and beyond. Jewish people remember God “passing over” their households when carrying out a death sentence for the first born sons of their enslavers. They also celebrate release from slavery in Egypt and the beginning of a journey toward the Promised Land. Themes of release from death or darkness to new birth through saving grace are so prominent in faith and in our culture that it seems worthwhile to think deeply this spring about what they might mean in our family’s lives.

How do you celebrate spring or Easter or Passover in your household? How do you encourage your children to begin new journeys, to leave or “put to death” what isn’t working? What new journeys would you like to begin yourself? What encourages you to be truthful with yourself -- about parts of your life or about people that you need to leave behind? What empowers you to take the first steps on a new journey, in a new direction, in developing a new “you” or more helpful relationships?

Wouldn’t your family benefit from taking a break from busy-ness and becoming more intentional about the direction you want your lives to go? Take the challenge. Sit still for a period of time this week. Jot down or draw a picture of what your life looks like now, and of what you would like your life to look like. Share it with your significant others. Decide on specific steps to move toward your new vision. Make this the time to SPRING into your new vision, into new family conversations that can bring about greater happiness and family satisfaction.

What About Me?

One of the great struggles of parenting is figuring out how to optimally meet children’s needs while also managing to meet your own. This struggle is magnified when parents work outside the home. Those who work outside the home sometimes think enviously of their friends who get to just do one thing - parent – and who get to put all of their focus on their kids. If they don’t like their jobs, they may find themselves particularly envious of those who stay home.

But the envy can go both ways – Stay-at-home parents often think those out in the work world are living it up. That they are getting to do all kinds of meaningful and world-changing activities. Some stay-at-home parents long for the opportunity to really make a difference in the world. A difference in something bigger than changing diapers and cleaning toilets and ensuring that the homework gets done.

And that is the rub, isn’t it? Parenting is perhaps the most important job parents will ever do! Most start families because they want children. They want to have a loving family. They want to bring a little miniature of themselves into the world. They want to contribute to creating the world. They want to do with their children all of the joyous things they had opportunities to do as children. Or they want to ensure that their children have better experiences than they did as children.

Figuring out how to mesh work in the world and work in the home - two very important and meaningful activities -- together without blowing a gasket is a tremendous challenge. And it grows more challenging in single parent families. And then add complications like moving or illness or the end of the school year or grandparents who need extra care or a recession or job loss. What’s a parent to do? Sometimes it just takes letting go of it all, sitting in front of the television set and vegging out! Sometimes parents need to feed themselves - both figuratively and literally. Sometimes they need to call on friends, and simply say, “Help!!” Most times they just have to admit to themselves that they are in a hole, that they can’t do it all, that they need to let go of all the extras, and that they need to call in all of their favors.

When others respond to the call, parents know they aren’t alone. They then have a little more time and a little more emotional energy to figure out what to do to make life better. Friends can help parents through the tough times so that they can come out on the other side. Friends coming to the rescue create a sense of community that helps prevent the chaos the next time around. And parents can contribute to that community in better times, when their friends are in need.

So, give yourself a break today! Take a little “me” time! Get the balance out and look at how much nurturance is coming in and how much is going out. Decide to take a little more in - if for nothing else than to ensure that you are well stocked for the end of the school year, for the next time the children’s needs become overwhelming. All parents need it. And you deserve it too.

Children and Trauma: What’s a Parent to Do?

The recent tornadoes and their paths of death and destruction have drawn the attention of national news in recent weeks. And well they should! Some may wonder whether children should be exposed to such news. Some may wonder how the children who have experienced such disasters can be helped to understand what has happened. Some may wonder what they should tell their children about such disasters in the wake of the destruction of lives and homes and schools and cities.

And so, parents are faced with the age old question about the problem of evil. Who causes it? Why does it happen? Is there a God? And if so, has God forgotten us? Why would a Higher Power allow such evil to happen? Or maybe it doesn’t it have anything to do with the spiritual? Maybe Mother Earth is just doing her thing? Might it be the result of mistreating the earth? Does global warming, caused by carbon emissions, result in more tornadoes?

As children see these things happen, they begin asking questions, just as we all do. Questions like these are their attempts to make sense out of the world, their attempts to deal with their fear, their attempts to understand and have some control over their lives. After all, who wants to believe that tragedies can hit any time and that we have no control over them? What child (or adult for that matter) wants to face day-to-day life with the thought that everything could come to an end at any point?

The existentialists believe that facing such questions is what gives meaning to life. Such life and death questions force us to decide what our lives will be about, how we will live day-to-day life in ways that mean something, that have value, that are important. But many of our children are a little young for existential questions.

What is clear is that we need to talk with our children in ways that meet them where they are, both emotionally and developmentally. For instance:

· Young children without mental health problems may want to know what has happened, may have heard things from their friends, but may find pictures of the destruction too overwhelming. Parents should probably protect them from television coverage, but talk with them about what has happened, what they as parents do to protect their family, and what their family might do to offer help to those who have lost their homes.

· In contrast, older children may be so focused on their own lives and needs that parents may want to urge them to think of others, to be less selfish, to take a larger view of life. When tragedies like this occur, parents might direct teens to the needs of those in the midst of the trouble, to how they might take direct action to help, and to think about what the children in the midst of the tornado-ravaged areas are experiencing. Parents might also take the lead in helping youth groups (e.g. sports, religious, service) to find ways to send aide to storm damaged areas.

· Children with mental health problems may have special needs when they become aware of disasters. Those with anxiety or depressive disorders may over-focus on the destruction and find it difficult to let go of the images or the fears that the same might happen to them and their families. They might experience difficulties sleeping or increased emotionality. Parents may want to protect such children from exposure to television and newspaper images or may want to increase professional counseling assistance for a time.

Fundamentally, parents need to be intentional about parenting, and this need becomes more apparent in times of tragedy. Parents need to have decided what they believe about the problems of evil and destruction – both for their own mental health and decisions about how to respond, and in order to be prepared to help their children to respond helpfully. Intentional parenting requires moving beyond merely reacting. It means taking time to step back from life, to reflect, to consider how best to parent, to talk with others about how to handle difficult situations, including deciding how to be ready for trouble. How are you doing at being intentional? What conversations will you have with your children about the recent tornadoes?