5 Ways to Become a “Spherical” Leader

Traditionally leaders have been perceived of as “above,” or “out in front” of their people. Spherical leaders, however, lead from out in front, from above, from behind, from underneath, and from beside, to fulfill various employee needs. Read below to discover which dimensions you might add in order to become an exceptional leader.

Out Front -- Holding Out the Vision

Leaders hold out the vision for the company or team or project in front of their teams, reminding us of where we are headed, inspiring us with the benefits of getting there, benefits that motivate us and keep us going during the more difficult times. Many of us forget about the importance of this part of leadership; and yet, the vision is what keeps us going or restarts our engines when we find ourselves dragging through the muck. Visionary leaders find unifying themes that inspire us, and remind team members frequently of the vision in order to inspire our best work.

Above -- Calling Upward

Leaders not only inspire us with the vision of where the team is headed, but offer us the reasons why we, in particular, should get on board with that vision. They focus us on our higher “Calling,” on the values that mean something to us, on the “spirit” that makes what we do something special and fulfilling, that makes life and work all worth it. Good leaders know us well enough to understand the values that inspire us personally, and they expect us to do what is optimal. They believe that each of us has special gifts or a “sweet spot” in our work, and they give us opportunities to actualize these fully.

Behind -- Pushing Forward

Leaders also ensure that the job gets done, checking in regularly, ensuring that we stay on task, stick to the schedule, take the require steps, and meet or exceed expectations. There may be a certain element of task-master in this role. And some employees may need more of a task master. But, as important as this role is at times, it can never take over completely. Seeing oneself as solely a task master neglects the important visionary and “calling” roles of a true leader, which should always come first in any endeavor.

Underneath -- Holding Up

No matter how inspiring a leader, or how much checking on tasks and schedules, no team will succeed without adequate resources. So leaders stay aware of the tasks at hand as well as the resources necessary for success – whether time, money, supplies, knowledge, workers with particular expertise, or energy. And when necessary, leaders advocate to ensure that resources are available to their team in a timely way.

Beside -- Comrades

No matter how important the job, how “called” the employees might feel about completing the job, many initiatives are difficult to accomplish or encounter difficulties. In such cases, leaders walk beside their people, sharing the pain, joining them in the trenches, offering resources, support, and time until the “pain” is past. They serve as an example to emulate.

The True Meaning of Christmas

I was struck by the Denver Post article, “Teaching kids to be grateful,” that asked whether the Black Friday shopping events would turn kids into materialistic creatures, rather than helping them to be grateful for what they have. Gratefulness is difficult in our household, I must admit. And it seems to circle right around the perceived need for “stuff,” more and better “stuff” than the friends have – or at least the same amount and kind of “stuff” that friends have.

I remember those inclinations as a child – I would be forever asking our parents for what my best friend, Linda, had. My sister would regularly ask for a television and a horse, requests that were repeated every Christmas for most of our growing up years. And, as you can imagine, given that we had no television growing up, our parents were making different choices than the parents of our friends. We frequently felt left out or as though our friends were far better endowed than we were with clothes and toys and activities.

And yet, isn’t that the reason we are in such trouble economically now? That some folks wanted more and better stuff and put those wants above making wise choices? That they chose houses that they probably couldn’t afford, commissions on riskier and riskier mortgages, larger and larger bonuses? It’s as though folks were never taught to make wise financial decisions! It’s as though values went out the window when deciding on major financial investments! And, as it is now clear, individuals can’t just claim that it’s alright to make whatever decisions they want to because we have now been persuaded that poor decisions can be devastating for millions of people!

Interestingly, I chose a profession whose income levels were unlikely to bring in the kind of money necessary to “fix” what I, as a child, had considered inadequacies. And I chose a lifestyle that valued interpersonal relationships and spiritual matters more than material possessions. Particularly now that I am beyond 50, I have realized, as my high school economics teacher once told us – the more stuff you have, the more time and money you have to spend taking care of it. And I don’t want to spend the time or the money. I want to spend time with my daughter, enjoy the out of doors, travel, attend arts events, give something back to society. These are “riches” that fall by the wayside when one is a single professional mother if one has too much “stuff” to take care of. So, I have just downsized, living in a 1000 square foot place and getting rid of everything I didn’t absolutely love. The result is that my daughter feels “poor” despite our more than adequate housing and income – she does not share my values at this time in her life about what makes life “rich.” Like my childhood experiences with our parents, she has not yet come to value what I value, and, as a result, she feels deprived.

So, do we parents just give in? Or do we fully claim our roles as transmitters of values? Do we fully and intentionally teach our children the reasons for the choices we make, financial and otherwise? They will learn whether we are intentional or not, either following in our footsteps or rebelling strongly and making different choices. Do we talk with them about our choices and why we make them? Do we share the values that inform our choices? Do we ourselves think about our values and how our decisions will affect us, our children, and our world in the long run?

In fact, what better time than when we are approaching Christmas to become intentional about gratefulness and the right place for “stuff” in our lives. Spending money on Black Friday doesn’t have to be about materialism or greed or selfishness. In our household it was about getting 70% off on warm clothes that we were lacking due to a recent move from Florida to Colorado. Not spending money that we don’t have to spend is one of our values. So, earlier access to Black Friday sales is less the question than, “Will we be seduced by what is external – be it advertising or keeping up with the Joneses -- or will we be guided by an internal sense of what is important in life, what will help our children grow up to be responsible caring people, what really matters in the long term, rather than only in the short term?” The question is, “What are our values? Are those values contributing to our long term well-being and our children’s long term well-being?” and “Have we considered the impact that our choices make on our communities and the larger society?” “Do we take into consideration that ‘no one is an island,’ that our choices affect many other people, and that ultimately certain ways of living are unsustainable?” Those are the questions that move beyond the simplistic. Those are the questions that challenge us to be intentional about the way we live our lives, that challenge us to take into consideration the bigger picture, the longer term impacts, for individuals, families, and communities. Will you join me in asking them in your family? After all, what better time is there to ask them than at Thanksgiving or as we approach Christmas, Chanukah, and the New Year?

What Will Your Bench Say?

I loved “Sorry, I’ve just got to vandalize this bench” in the Denver Post this week! The message is powerful, and one I try to communicate to my daughter regularly. The author, Kate Morrison, saw two benches on the corner of University and 1^st in Cherry Creek -- “This is what you use,” written on a large bench, and “This is what you need,” written on a small bench next to it. She found the metaphor relevant to many areas of life, and so wanted to vandalize the benches with the following possible parallel quotes:

When will we get the message? How much do we really need? Is it really making us happier? What are we giving up in order to get all this money? All this stuff? All these experiences?

We aren’t healthier! We just keep eating more, sitting in front of the TV more, and then, as a result, keeping the diet centers and doctors in business .

We aren’t happier! We just eat more, abuse ourselves more, and do more therapy!

We don’t do our relationships any better! We just do more divorce, more therapy (a theme here), see one another less, talk with one another less, and have less sense of community.

Clearly the values of “He who dies with the most toys wins” doesn’t get us anywhere worth getting. So, what are we going to do about it? What values do get us something worth having? What values and lifestyles make us happier? Help us to have relationships that work better and grow more? Help our children to grow up happy? What do we need to focus on to be more physically and emotionally healthy? What values will help to reduce crime and poverty and child abuse, and the other ills in our society?

If we don’t think about this, we won’t do anything differently. And if we don’t do anything differently, these societal problems will only increase. We can say, “That doesn’t apply to me.” Or “That doesn’t affect me.” But it really does! We are all connected to one another. We all do affect one another. If I take the first step, it can positively affect someone else. And then someone else. And then again, someone else. Watch the Pay It Forward video clip to see how one person can make a real difference. And then realize that the person who made the difference in that movie was a little kid. Can’t we adults do at least that much? I think so. Who’s with me??

http://payitforward.warnerbros.com/Pay_It_Forward/

When Values Face Trials

I noticed my character going out the window the other day when a vendor was being unreasonable about a cancellation. I wondered if I was the only one who wanted to give up being loving and kind and honorable when faced with injustice or ignorance. And as I was reading the paper, I read about others in difficult straits and wondered if they too struggled with the maintaining their ethical values in the face of life’s trials.

For instance, what about the hockey player whose neck was broken after he was rammed against the wall – how did he and his parents keep from fury at the game, the coach, the other player? Were they tempted to “lose it,” lose their ethics, and take out their anger and fears on others in the face of their potential loss?

What about those “Occupy” protesters around the world using their collective might against corporate greed? Clearly, they were advocating for what they believed was right. And in the face of economic tumult around the world, many of us have been reevaluating our values related to money. Or perhaps reevaluating the values of others who committed the crimes that contributed to our economic crisis – crimes for which many have yet to pay. We read that some of the protesters followed the law, were peaceable, and used their numbers to speak their values or concerns loudly. Others –the papers say outside trouble makers – became violent and destructive, values I would hope we would not aspire to.

And what about the police officers trying to ensure peace and safety during the protests – Did they use wisdom and restraint in handling the protests? Or did they find themselves fearful, and as a result, lose their commitment to promoting peacefulness? Did they become belligerent in the face of the anger that was being expressed?

It is natural to become angry in the face of someone harming us or ours, or in the face of losing something that we value. The question is, what do we do with that anger? Do we lash out or retaliate? Does our fear lead us to do things that are not honorable? Or do we remember that conflict is a normal part of life, and that learning to handle it in helpful ways is a necessity? Do we remember that the person on the other side or the conflict is a human being too, with needs and desires and hopes? Or do we only focus on our needs and desires and hopes?

I certainly know I have trouble thinking about the other person when my needs are thwarted. Or when I am depressed or hurt or sick. And sometimes I justify my “crazy” behavior with those excuses. But afterward, I am drawn back to asking – “Did I behave honorably?” “Was I loving?” “Respectful?” “Kind?” And more importantly – “What would happen if everyone behaved as I did?” Because really, isn’t that the most important thing – realizing that we are all critical cogs in the wheel of our communities – and that we can start a hostile, angry ball rolling downhill fast if we don’t remember that everyone is important in creating a positive community. Won’t you instead stand up and let your character be counted as one who continually aims to grow ethically? To refuse to let circumstances pull you from your central values? To invest in creating positive change in your family and community and school, rather than following along with negativism and harmfulness? I’m going to try to stay there – won’t you join me?

Values: The Antidote to Self-Control Fatigue

January! The month we all make our New Year’s Resolutions. And the month we all start failing at our New Year’s Resolutions! For years, mine was to lose weight – not an uncommon resolution, I understand. (I didn’t make any this year. Keep reading and I’ll tell you why.) What about yours? Are they realistic? Do they ever make it beyond January? If not, why do you think that is?

George Will, columnist for The Washington Post, comments on New Year’s resolutions in his article “Out of Control, By Choice,” in which he reviews Daniel Akst’s book, We Have Met the Enemy: Self-Control in an Age of Excess. As I read the article, I thought about my daughter’s frequent and repeated requests: “Can I have…,” “I want….,” “For my next birthday, I’m gonna ask for. . .,” “Why can’t I have. . .?” And if I suggest to her that she save her allowance, I often get, “But Mooooom. . .,” or “But everyone else has. . .,” or “I wish we were rich, then I could have all these things that I want that everyone else gets just by asking.”

And yet, aren’t many of us like my 11-year-old? We want what we want when we want it, and if the cash is in our pockets, we say, “Why not?” And “it” is constantly, and many times instantly, available these days (one of the points made by the book and Will’s article). This seemingly unlimited availability challenges our self-control. In the case of food – as both authors discuss – we seem to be fighting a losing battle. Obesity has become a national health crisis in our country. Says Will, “One third of Americans are merely overweight, another third are obese. Since 1980, obesity has doubled. . . and the number of diabetics has more than quadrupled.”

But food is clearly not the only temptation – the same can be said about buying almost anything, about sex and drugs and recreational activities. What does it say about us that we can’t seem to get enough?

I, and many other mental health providers and spiritual leaders, would say we are trying to fill up the empty places in our hearts and souls, and we are going about it ways that have no chance of succeeding. Not only that, our unsuccessful efforts take a great deal of time and money, both of which could be better spent on activities that had some chance of success and could provider longer lasting satisfaction. The result of our misdirected efforts are all sorts of personal and societal problems – obesity, as already mentioned, runaway debt, lack of time for interacting meaningfully with friends and family, a lack of a sense of community in our neighborhoods. And the longer term effects include most of what we see in the news these days: a national debt crisis resulting from bailing out criminally negligent financial and other institutions and from our governments’ attempts to prevent more fall out; failing schools; increasing addiction; increasingly polarized political rhetoric; and innocent people being shot by mentally ill people.

What if our New Year’s resolutions were to end the frantic chase after more and better things and entertainment and take a stand for moral and ethical values. We would all get to decide what values we want to be central in our own lives – for instance, love, responsibility, fairness, giving back to society, among many others. But the key daily questions for us after deciding on a set of core ethical values would be, “How will I live out those values today?” “How does what I am thinking about doing today reflect those values?”

With those values at the center of who we are and what we do, we can cease the frenetic and inherently flawed chase after more and better stuff or excitement. We can increase the likelihood of life satisfaction, healthy and loving relationships, and spending that fits our means. We can build the types of communities that will simply and loudly say, “NO!” to the craziness we read in the daily papers. We can declare with our words and behavior, “We simply will not tolerate living in this sort of world!” “We will proactively do whatever is necessary to change it for the better!” And, “We will do it by letting our values lead, rather than being pulled too and fro by ‘flavor of the day.’”

A Vote for Ethics

Well, “Corruption County” has spoken – 72% of the voters voted “yes” to the Ethics Amendment in my county, which means that “every city, town, and village” in Palm Beach County “will be under the jurisdiction of the Commission on Ethics and Independent Inspector General’s” Office. “All elected officials” and county and city employees “will have to abide by the new county ethics ordinance, which prohibits officials from using public offices to benefit themselves, their family members, and their businesses”.

This is cause for celebration! Certainly it is a good start for a county that has sent three county commissioners to prison and has another who has pleaded guilty to felony extortion. In the next step, a committee will recommend necessary ordinances. I particularly liked what Jamie Titcomb, executive director of the Palm Beach County League of Cities, in advocating for a uniform ethics policy for the entire county, said, “It’s kind of like why people go to church every Sunday. It’s not that they don’t know the stuff; they need to be reminded of the message and the agreed [upon] standards.” It seems that civic and business groups have been responsible for pushing hard for these initiatives. I will look forward to seeing the progress that these groups can make.

In particular, I look forward to seeing how ethical behavior is defined – How will the committees decide which ordinances should be included, what the policies should be? What process will they use to ensure that people in public service both get the message and carry out the public welfare with integrity? Will they reach beyond law (everyone, after all, should know the law and follow it) into challenging people to operate optimally from a place of values? To avoid grey areas? How will they decide what values should be included, and what it will look like to fully incorporate those values? What processes or structures will they urge municipalities to incorporate in order to ensure that everyone gets the message? How will they fund these new structures and processes?

Business research offers evidence that without changing corporate culture to one centered on values that are demonstrated from the top down and infused into every part of the company, ethical infractions will continue and dysfunctional workplaces will persist. It seems that merely making rules or hiring lawyers to inform on laws and regulations ensures only that people do the minimum to get by rather than aiming for what’s optimal. When employees observe their leaders doing the minimum, they do likewise, getting away with as much as they can.

Will government learn from this research and realize the need to change its culture so that the mandate has teeth and so that its employees will gain the public trust? Will they ensure that government leaders pursue an onward and upward journey to discovering and living out the values expressed in the county’s ethics code? Will they institute the opportunities for discussion and training that encourage employees to consider how best to live out these values in the workplace and to make ethical decisions when more difficult dilemmas occur? Ethics training is currently required in my city. However, the hour a year that is currently funded is unlikely to change people’s values or behavior. Passing the Amendment was a great first step. Educating and supporting people in living it to its fullest will require ongoing reflection, conversation, training, and incentives.
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1 All information from Swan, R. The voters really got it. The Palm Beach Post, Thursday, November 11, 2010.