What About Me?

One of the great struggles of parenting is figuring out how to optimally meet children’s needs while also managing to meet your own. This struggle is magnified when parents work outside the home. Those who work outside the home sometimes think enviously of their friends who get to just do one thing - parent – and who get to put all of their focus on their kids. If they don’t like their jobs, they may find themselves particularly envious of those who stay home.

But the envy can go both ways – Stay-at-home parents often think those out in the work world are living it up. That they are getting to do all kinds of meaningful and world-changing activities. Some stay-at-home parents long for the opportunity to really make a difference in the world. A difference in something bigger than changing diapers and cleaning toilets and ensuring that the homework gets done.

And that is the rub, isn’t it? Parenting is perhaps the most important job parents will ever do! Most start families because they want children. They want to have a loving family. They want to bring a little miniature of themselves into the world. They want to contribute to creating the world. They want to do with their children all of the joyous things they had opportunities to do as children. Or they want to ensure that their children have better experiences than they did as children.

Figuring out how to mesh work in the world and work in the home - two very important and meaningful activities -- together without blowing a gasket is a tremendous challenge. And it grows more challenging in single parent families. And then add complications like moving or illness or the end of the school year or grandparents who need extra care or a recession or job loss. What’s a parent to do? Sometimes it just takes letting go of it all, sitting in front of the television set and vegging out! Sometimes parents need to feed themselves - both figuratively and literally. Sometimes they need to call on friends, and simply say, “Help!!” Most times they just have to admit to themselves that they are in a hole, that they can’t do it all, that they need to let go of all the extras, and that they need to call in all of their favors.

When others respond to the call, parents know they aren’t alone. They then have a little more time and a little more emotional energy to figure out what to do to make life better. Friends can help parents through the tough times so that they can come out on the other side. Friends coming to the rescue create a sense of community that helps prevent the chaos the next time around. And parents can contribute to that community in better times, when their friends are in need.

So, give yourself a break today! Take a little “me” time! Get the balance out and look at how much nurturance is coming in and how much is going out. Decide to take a little more in - if for nothing else than to ensure that you are well stocked for the end of the school year, for the next time the children’s needs become overwhelming. All parents need it. And you deserve it too.