Spirit-Care for Leaders

• Do you ever feel as though you have lost your zip?
• Do you wonder where you will get the energy to do what needs to be done tomorrow?
• Do you wonder how you can inspire your people when you feel so uninspired yourself?
• Might you be thinking about a LONG vacation, from which you never return?

There is a good deal of talk in the mental health world about the need for self-care – for relaxation, for supportive friends to talk difficulties over with, for addressing emotional issues that may be hanging on from childhood. We also see articles or hear from experts who tout the wonders of regular exercise and healthy meals and various supplements or herbs. And everyone speaks of the need for downtime, for relationship time, for balanced living.

And yet, sometimes high-powered people think they are immune. They work smarter, think more quickly, organize efficiently, have money to pay others do the routine, dull parts of life. And then they aren’t. And then the illness hits. Or their spouse leaves. Or their kid gets arrested. And then they lose their zip. And then they wonder what life is about.

I think many forget to seek out the “spirit” in life. Now don’t get wiggy – I am not going to “god” talk you, or tell you to go back to church or listen to your mother. I’m not going to suggest that you get “saved” or to read your Bible more. Unless, perhaps, you already know that you need to do these things.

But, I do think that leaders with considerable power can confuse themselves with God – sitting up on a pedestal and expecting things of themselves that no human being should expect. I do think that leaders can forget the balance of power,  that the world operates better when people shoulder responsibilities together, when everyone takes on their share, and follows their particular “calling.” I do think that leaders can forget their calling, their joy, that which gives meaning to their lives. And they do so at their own peril!

So, what about you? What would it take to reclaim a place among us mere mortals? What would it take to expect a reasonable amount of yourself? What would it take to stop playing God, or to reclaim a place that is somewhere between incompetent and your God aspirations? What would the people in your life have to do to persuade you to share a little vulnerability, to connect with the little people, to receive life and love and “spiritual food” from other people? What would it take to receive from Something or Someone “higher” than yourself?

Perhaps no one else can answer that question for you. But many of us have answered it for ourselves. And we have learned that we and the people around us do much better when we reclaim a place in the universe that is made for us, rather than aspiring out of pride to something that we can never reach: godhood!

Becoming a Leader

We often think of leaders as people with particular traits, with particular needs to be up in front, to guide others, or to offer some talent that they alone have. And it is true that some people have those needs. Others advance in job or social situations to positions where they are expected to provide leadership whether they feel these needs or not. We see these people up in front. We expect of them some special skills that we might not expect of ourselves.

But, in fact, aren’t we all supposed to be leaders? Of something or someone? That is, aren’t we all supposed to have some influence on the world for good? From a spiritual point of view, we all have gifts or “callings” that we are to use in some way to positively affect the world. And isn’t that the same as “leading” someone or some group or some situation toward “the good?” The gifts of the Spirit noted in the Christian Bible include wisdom (giving wise advice), knowledge (studying and teaching), faith, prophesying, serving, teaching, preaching, administration, giving comfort, generosity with money earned, healing, prophecy, miraculous powers, discrimination between spirits, speaking in or interpreting different languages (see Romans 12 and I Corinthians 12). Other spiritualities or faiths may name other gifts or talents. But most believe that we have a responsibility in the world to make a positive difference by using the gifts we have received. And doesn’t this mean we become role models, influencing people toward what is right? Doesn’t that make us leaders or healers or change creators – if only by enacting our own giftedness?

In fact, haven’t we all heard of people who made remarkable differences in the lives of those around them, in their work environments, in their communities without ever having to get up in front? They may have influenced from the background. From a quiet counseling room or as a tutor of a young child or from getting all of the administrative tasks out of the way so that a preacher could preach or a youth leader direct.

I think we make mistakes when we expect leaders to be strong people of bravado, and when we opt out of leading because we are not brave or do not like to stand up in front. I think those to whom we assign leadership get the wrong message when we expect them to always be in charge, to always be confident in front of a crowd, or to always strongly assert themselves in difficult situations. I think we let ourselves and many other gifted people off the hook when we opt out of leadership – as though we are saying, you have to look strong, stand tall, and be assertive and confident in order to make a difference. The pressure that those strong, tall, assertive people then feel is to always be right, to always speak up, to always know THE truth or THE way to go. And who can live up to such expectations?

In fact, some of the best leaders have been introverts, quiet people who have triggered the strengths of those around them. They have listened first. They have asked questions and gathered experts around them – and expected those experts to behave as experts. They have known they are not always right, and have considered the answers that groups develop to be better than those they create themselves. They have been quiet and unassuming – but have recognized and supported and built the strengths of others.

Doesn’t this let those of us in traditional leadership roles off the hook a bit? Doesn’t it put the focus somewhere else for once? Might it not, in some cases, recognize that Someone else is in charge, and we are all merely servants? And doesn’t it put the responsibility right where it ought to be – with Someone who knows how to do it? With Someone who led by dying? With Someone who didn’t approach the world with bravado, but with humility? 

I know I frequently forget who my Someone is, and think I am supposed to be in the director’s chair. Then I fail to tune into those around me who, in particular situations, are called to lead me. Who is your Someone, and how will you humble yourself to allow Him or Her to lead? Who in your cadre of important folks might lead you? Or whose leadership might you support? Imagine the positive change that could emerge in our world if we actively sought to encourage the leadership and giftedness of those around us!